"I am worried about how they will adjust"

April is the month of the military child and the statement above is something I hear constantly. I even think it from time to time about my own family. Our children will grow up in a world where frequent deployments, moves and constant transitions are the norm. They will say goodbye more times in one year than we may have said in our life prior to military. I have good news for you, and it's not the "we signed up for this" statement you may have heard before.

Research has proven time and time again that Military youth are more resilient than their civilian counterparts in academic and social settings. They have wider world views with exposures to different cultures, geographic locations, and languages that provide them a unique ability to adapt to new situations that will benefit them over their lifetime. Military youth experience adversity that allows for strength to develop and are proven to thrive.

Unfortunately, I would be naïve to say that this lifestyle does not come with an increased risk of stress, anxiety, and even depression. Let's normalize that your child may have difficulties picking up from one place to the next or inconsistency in routine, and what that can look like is scary. Children can't always say, "I miss my bed or this is really hard." They can cry, try to control new things like food or clothes, have sleep regressions, and stop playing nicely with their siblings or friends. These are their way of saying "I am struggling!" I want to leave you with some research-based take aways to support your child bloom into a strong, resilient child throughout this crazy lifestyle.

1. Surround your children with community that experience similar lifestyles,

2. Speak clearly and openly about upcoming changes, children have different ways of processing information. Choose a book, a visual aid, or even an age appropriate video. When you leave room for interpretation, children often times fill it in.

3. Provide comfort items (sheets, blankets, and or books/toys)

4. Give them space to feel the feelings. You can even "ok" the feeling. "There is a lot of change happening around us, and it's hard."

5. Be aware of your own emotions and model navigating emotions appropriately. "I am feeling overwhelmed by all my things being packed up, mom needs a walk." "I yelled last night, and I was feeling mad. I am going to try again today." "Dad/mom is leaving again, and I really miss them."

Military Child Education Coalition (2019). Military-connected children:What the research tells us.