Feeling anxious is a common and natural emotion experienced by most people at some point in their lives. Whether it's a passing feeling or a chronic condition, you may have observed how it affects your relationships. Today, I aim to raise awareness about how regular patterns of anxiety can influence relationships and provide tools to help understand these patterns.
Lately, in both my professional practice and personal life, I have observed anxiety manifesting in numerous individuals. Frequently, it intensifies during periods of change, holiday preparations, or shifts in family relationships. Interestingly, change often brings along uncertainty. Consequently, this uncertainty can lead to behaviors like avoidance or an excessive desire for control. While everyone reacts to anxiety uniquely, these two responses are the most prevalent in my experience.
Some things to look out for:
Saying no to things that you previously would have enjoyed
Controlling partners engagement in activities
Reduced ability to delegate tasks
Hyper focus on need for things to be done "right"
Lack of trust in others
Rigid daily routines
Reduced intimacy or connection
Now, reflect. Anything sound familiar. What we start with is awareness without judgement. Now, we can switch perspective, how is this impacting my relationship?
Anxiety resides in a part of your brain that forms habits and instinctual safety needs. Therefore, the most effective approach to decreasing anxiety is by engaging in activities that trigger it. It's important to take gradual steps rather than tackling everything at once. Identify your behavioral patterns and gradually decrease anxiety-inducing actions. Seeking gentle support and guidance from the person involved is also strongly advised to navigate this process together as a team. As always, there is also therapy!
I encourage you to reflect today, and speak with your partner or whatever relationship this is coming up in. Have an open conversation, and deepen the connection of understanding yourself and the relationships around you.
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